Have you ever lost the girl to a totally average guy and couldn’t understand why? You might be too attractive, according to a new British study.
In the study, women were less likely to choose attractive men with high status careers as relationship partners — and more likely to choose average-looking guys — when the women had trust issues and didn’t see themselves as desirable.
“More desirable, high status men, in general, would be more likely to desert their relationships for attractive alternatives. Women who are less trusting are more aware of that,” said lead study author Simon Chu, Ph.D., professor at the University of Central Lancashirein the U.K.
Part of it goes back to the caveman days: Although physical attractiveness is an indication of good genes, it also means that men are less likely to stick around and contribute to childcare since they know they can mate with multiple women, said Chu. (Not that every attractive man acts this way, of course. Chu simply said that women are still wary of these evolutionary instincts.)
To get her to trust you, avoid harmless actions that could seem shady, said psychologist Michelle Callahan, PhD, relationship coach in New York City.
For example, don’t minimize your browser window when she walks in, take a call in front of her, not in the other room (and let her know who was calling), and invite her out to drinks with your coworkers and female friends so she knows you’re not hiding anything. (Related from MensHealth.com: How to Appease Her Jealousy.)